


The Warmth of Your Palm

by plus_minus



Category: Final Fantasy XIII, Final Fantasy XIII Series
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 04:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14204604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plus_minus/pseuds/plus_minus
Summary: Three short stories revolving around Vanille and Fang during the story line of FFXIII.





	1. You, Me, and the Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're on Tumblr, you might recognize these stories...the rough drafts were originally posted on my Tumblr last May for Fanille Week 2017. Many thanks to SXM132 for proofreading work to help clean these up.

 

“Now’s a good time. What did you need to talk about?” Fang stares right at Vanille, which should be a welcomed sight now that they’re alone at the campsite in Vallis Media. But given the circumstances, Vanille feels like she is going to throw up.

She couldn’t sleep last night, their first night on Gran Pulse in a long time. Despite the fact that her body had even been exhausted after their escape from the Fifth Ark, her mind was racing thinking about the impending conversation. The guilt of what she had to do crushed her; she had promised Sazh during their imprisonment in the Palamecia that from then on she would only tell the truth. It was a noble pledge, and she wishes that she could stand by it, but it’s simply not possible.

As Vanille takes a deep breath, she mentally rehearses what she is about to say. “Fang,” she murmurs. They face one another as she takes her companion’s left hand. She would have taken Fang’s right hand, but it’s gripping her lance, waiting for danger. “You know how Anima marked the others in the Vestige? And I was with them?  I think...Anima might have restored some of my memories.”

“Go on now, what do you remember?” She turns her head slightly, eager for the information.

Vanille’s heart races faster. She won’t tell Fang what really transpired; she can’t let her know that she was the one to become Ragnarok all those years ago. Vanille can’t predict how the other woman would react to discovering that not only did she fail in destroying Cocoon, but that she also inadvertently destroyed parts of Gran Pulse as well.

And even worse, if Fang knew that she had nearly succeeded, she would be even _more_ motivated to try it again. Ever since the fal'Cie Barthandelus had told her that becoming Ragnarok and destroying the floating world would complete their Focus, Fang has mentioned it multiple times. But it would be a terrible thing to destroy Cocoon. As children, Vanille and her friends were told over and over again that it was a nest of vipers, but it really wasn’t! During her brief time in this other world, she had seen gorgeous plants, creatures, and people. She wants them to live, even if that means that she won’t be able to.

Vanille forces herself to make eye contact, just as she planned to do. “I don’t remember a lot of it, but I had to…I had to become Ragnarok. Anima chose me for it, so I had to do it.”

“What? No, that can’t be.” Fang’s mouth is agape. “I...I would never have wanted that to happen. Damn these stupid gods and their terrible rules. Shit! It should’ve been me.”

_It was you. But I can’t let you know that._

Fang grunts in frustration and throws her lance in the ground. It sticks out at an odd angle. She wants nothing more than to run away, but Fang’s hand keeps her there.  Vanille whines in fear as she squeezes Fang’s hand. The gesture is returned with such strength that it hurts.

“Fang, it’s okay. I’m okay.” Vanille’s free hand reaches for Fang’s face. She knows that this is the best thing to do during times like these. With most of her hand over her right cheek, her thumb slowly moves repetitively up her left cheek and down to her jaw bone. Her skin is not exactly soft; Fang’s face has a few healing scabs on it, and Vanille’s fingers are sweaty from the humidity and previous panic. But they’ve both been soothed by this type of contact ever since they were kids.

“Please, don’t get angry,” she implores as she continues moving her fingers. “Please Fang, don’t get angry at yourself.” She can watch it working, too. Fang’s facial expression relaxes from a scowl to a neutral expression after the first couple strokes. Before long, she closes her eyes and releases a deep exhale across Vanille’s fingers.

“With a touch like that, how could I?” She gently removes Vanille’s hand from her face and kisses her palm before lowering it. “Come here, you.”

Fang pulls her in a tight embrace and Vanille squeaks in surprise. The pendant on the taller woman’s necklace presses into her cheek, causing a dull pain. Yet she deserves a much worse punishment for yet another lie. _But I can’t let her know the truth. I can’t._

 


	2. Past Lives

“Fang!” Vanille cried, ecstatic as she approached the campsite. “You’ll never guess who I saw!”

“Who? I don’t even know who you would find out here,” Fang replied, perplexed. They had been away from Pulse for hundreds of years; even if they had found other people on the Archylte Steppe, they wouldn’t know them personally.

“Hm.” The younger woman rested her left index finger to her cheek, considering what she had previously said. “It’d be hard to guess, anyways. Well, I saw Gymanta!”

“Huh?” As a teenager, Vanille had helped tend to the sheep in the village. Gymanta was the first animal Vanille had formed a close bond with. But he had died a few years before they became l’Cie. How had she found him?

“Oh whoops, I think I just confused you!” Vanille grinned. “Let me explain. So, Hope and Snow and me were out on the plains, and we saw a flock of sheep. When I went over to see them, one of them stayed in his place. Anyways, he looked just like Gymanta. Fang I swear, he had the same eyes as him, same cry and everything. When he looked at me-”

“Not only is she crazy, but she’s not very helpful,” Snow interjected as he and Hope emerged from the the trail that led to the camp, using both of their strength to hold a large gorgonopsid. “Left us two guys to carry today’s meal all by ourselves.”

“It builds character, Mr. Hero,” Fang shot back, annoyed that he had interrupted them. Her tone softened as she returned to the previous conversation. “You think that was him, yeah?”

“It might be a little crazy, sure. But the way his eyes were, I think he recognized me! He let me pet him too and never ran away. He made a cute little ‘baa’ when I said his name, just like Gymanta used to. I guess reincarnation _is_ real.”

Fang was skeptical of the idea of animals being reborn, but she didn’t want to voice it and hurt Vanille’s feelings. They were both homesick, and if keeping silent would save her from being hurt, Fang wouldn’t say a word. Anyway, she had no evidence arguing against the point; as a hunter, her understanding of animals came from a different perspective. Tracking, trapping, and killing were her forte, not spiritual understandings. That had always been Vanille’s strength.

“She’s out of her mind,” Snow laughed as he and Hope kneeled on the ground, working together to skin the beast they’d brought back with them. Vanille pouted and made a “Hmph!” noise in protest.

Hope shrugged. He stopped moving his knife as he spoke up. “I think there’s a lot of things out there that we can’t comprehend yet.” As Fang nodded in agreement at the boy’s statement, Vanille immediately grabbed her hand.

“So that means you want to go see him, right? I bet he’s still close by!” Vanille chirped, attempting to pull her up from her seated position by the campfire. Fang easily stood, playing along. She felt herself smile as they told Hope and Snow they’d only be gone for a short time. _Never a dull moment with this girl._

 


	3. Farther On

“I’m sorry,” Fang says near the beginning of their dream in the crystal pillar.  

“For what?”

“I almost killed you. Back there in front of Orphan.”

“Oh, Fang.” Vanille turns from the vision of their friends below. She offers a small smile as she wraps her arms around her lover’s waist. “It’s okay-”

“No, it’s not right. How could you even say that? Everything we went through and I almost killed you. They had to hold me back. I…”

 _I failed you, you know,_ she thought, but the words get caught in the back of her throat.

Fang has been reliving what happened in Orphan’s Cradle several times over in her head: the sudden realization that Vanille was going to turn Cie’th then and there, but she couldn’t let that happen, couldn’t watch that happen, better to kill her kill her **kill her**. Thrashing about while Snow and Sazh strained to prevent her from succeeding at this instinctive goal, screaming “What are you doing!?” and “No, no, no, you’re not going to hurt Vanille!”

She had tossed them both aside with such ease, it makes her feel ill.

“I’ve thought about it too, a little. I think that everything happened so fast…you were scared. You did what you thought you had to do. I forgive you, Fang. You were only trying to protect me, in your own way. You always think about me first. That’s one of the reasons why I love you, you know.” Vanille giggles after she says that, looking up and grinning coyly.

It’s not the first time that that phrase has passed between them, but it’s the first time it’s been said since they’ve begun holding up Cocoon. There’s not much of a need to repeat something that’s always felt.

“Thank you, Vanille. I love you too.”

Although she feels better to have her forgiveness, it will take a while before Fang can forgive herself. But she knows that they’ll spend a long time in stasis. If it’s anything like last time, maybe centuries. There’s time to figure it out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading these, I hope you enjoyed them.


End file.
